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In My Write Mind | Kicking Worry’s Ass

98% of the time I don’t worry about things. Worry is such a useless, toxic emotion. When I catch myself drifting into that 2% area, I quickly mutter, “I ain’t gon’ worry about it.” And it works. Usually. If worry wins the battle, I surrender and let it run its course because clearly, there must be some kind of lesson I need to learn, right? Okay, bring it.

There’s only two things I worry about: my finances and my health. That’s when Worry sends her goons Hypocondria and Money Problems to do her dirty work.

Hypochondria sometimes gets the best of me. It’s triggered by a little ache or pain whereby I swear I have some fatal illness such as cancer or an autoimmune disease. The ache or pain usually goes away on its on in a couple of days or my doctor checks me out and says, “There’s nothing wrong with you.” Thanks doc, but don’t think I didn’t see that micro eye roll. I quickly forget all about my demise. Superwoman is back baby!

Now, Money Problems? That heffa doesn’t fight fair. One slip up and your ass is out on the street rubbing a growling stomach. Money Problems may have won battles in the past, but not this time. Listen, I’m about to let y’all all up in my business right now: I had a past due light bill and the services were scheduled for shut off the next day. Hey, times are tough these days. Anyway, I was worried because I didn’t have enough money to pay the bill in full. I asked someone if they could loan me the money, but they weren’t able to help me.

Money Problems had me pinned down and the countdown commenced. I went limp and accepted defeat. Being plunged into darkness wouldn’t be so bad would it? I mean, before the invention of electricity people got by just fine with candles. I could rough it. *Giving myself a serious side eye* Girl bye. You freaked out that time when the electricity went out for a day on account of the local power plant catching fire.

I got pissed and decided to fight back. I wasn’t about to let Worry and her thug Money Problems get the best of me. What could I do though? Maybe the power company would let me have an extension. But, they wouldn’t be open until the next day. That meant I would be Worry and Money Problems’ bitch for another day. Oh hell no! I refused to spend another minute messing around with those two. So, I logged into the power company’s website to see if I could request an extension immediately. Sure enough, I could.

Ha! In your face, Money Problems! I won the war. Now, throw me my damn parade.